Will You Please Answer Our Brief 55-Question Survey, For No Compensation?

The survey will take no more than 20 minutes you don’t have.

Will you please answer a brief 55-question survey about the service you just received, for no compensation? Your answers will help our already well-funded operation make even more money while we for some reason continue to not pay you.

The survey will take no more than 20 minutes you don’t have.

Please share your feedback in response to the following questions:

1. Don’t you expect to be compensated for your time?

2. Why not?

3. Won’t the survey results be skewed because most professionals are too busy to do this, so it’s basically going to be answered by… you?

4. Was the quality of service you received today up to your expectations?

5. Is that because you expect to be treated like a jerk?

6. Okay, really, why are you still here?

7. Is it because you’ve already invested so much time that you’ve decided to keep failing all the way?

8. Do you have a clue?

9. Do you want to ask Siri for a clue?