I Made A Lot Of Baseless Assumptions About The Beatles Before I Saw ‘Get Back,’ And Now That I’ve Seen It, I Have A Whole New Set Of Baseless Assumptions

Before I saw the new eight-hour Beatles documentary “Get Back,” I was sure that Yoko Ono, or possibly Linda McCartney, or maybe Ringo Starr was responsible for the Beatles’ breakup.

Now that I’ve seen every minute of the film, I realized my assumptions were wrong. I now know the truth about the Fab Four’s influences, relationships, work habits, and romantic tendencies.

Since a lot of people subscribed to Disney Plus last year to watch Hamilton and canceled the next day — and haven’t had a chance to re-subscribe and cancel again — here are my thoughts:

1. Yoko was not a negative influence. She was just there. Even while she borrows Ringo’s drumsticks to knit and perl, while he’s trying to play “Come Together,” or while she stitches a hat to keep John warm as he’s wearing it, she’s not interfering. She’s just there.

2. Regarding Ringo and his octopus song: I used to think John and Paul mostly ignored him, but it’s clear that they put up with his childish tune as much as they could so that they could get back to their more intellectual titles: I Am The Walrus, Hey, Bulldog, and Rocky Raccoon.